This week I am going to share some insights with you on charisma, and what you can do to unlock your personal charisma. You know, that state of mind – that attitude, if you would – that helps you influence and persuade people. That’s really what charisma is about; Your ability to influence and persuade without ever having to do anything. Without ever having to say anything. It’s selling without selling. It’s creating and knocking down barriers that would have been there otherwise. Let’s jump right into it. In order to effectively make your charisma more powerful, you have to do five things:
- You have to be attentive. Attentive means you sincerely listen to what the customer has to say. That’s easy enough said. I’ve listened to a hundred people, and they all say you have to listen to the customers. I am being frank with you here. You have to listen to what they have to say, and you have to be attentive to where they’re going with it.
- You have to prioritize that connection (with your customer). That means they become the most important thing you do. Here’s what charisma is: It’s not just saying hello to someone, it’s stopping what you’re doing to say hello. That’s what charisma’s about; that’s what prioritizing that human connection is all about.
- You have to draw people out. That means as you talk to someone, you can’t ask yes and no questions. “Did you have a nice weekend?” “Yes.” “No.” You might have to be careful because sometimes you may ask a question you may not like the answer that you get. You have to ask questions that allow them to open up and tell you the answers rather than answer with a yes or no. Instead of asking, “Did you have a nice weekend?” Ask, “What did you do this past weekend?” Now you have a reason for them to talk and share some information with you.
- You have to be authentic. I watched an interview with a woman named Joy Mangano. It wasn’t too long ago she was on a network television morning show. If you don’t know who she is, you need to Google her because this is not the time for me to tell you who she is or what she’s about. I will give you this; They made a movie about her, and she was an inventor of a mop. That’s all the clues I’ll give you. You probably know who I’m talking about, but if not, look her up. In her interview, and how she built a mega-million empire with a mop, the interviewer asked her, “What was the secret to your success?” Her answer was simple. She said, “You have to be authentic.” If you watch Joy, which a move about her and her life and how she built her empire, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. The ability to be authentic means you just become you. You can’t be somebody else. You can’t imitate what somebody else is doing. You have to be you. That’s what I’m doing in front of this camera right now. I’m just me. I’m not trying to be like anybody I’ve ever seen, and sometimes I shoot these a couple of different times. Sometimes I even make a mistake, and I just keep shooting. Sometimes I’ll cough or hiccup, but that’s ok. because that’s me. I want to just be me when I’m here talking to you.
- You never fake it. I’ve heard you fake it until you make it, and that’s a different strategy. When you’re in front of the customer, you can’t fake real answers. You can’t fake authenticity. You can’t fake being the real you.
Keep these in mind:
- be attentive
- prioritize the human connection
- draw people out
- be authentic
- never fake it in front of your customer
These are the simple rules of increasing your charisma with customers. You follow these simple rules – you may want to watch this segment over a few times just to get those down. Write them down on a piece of paper and put them in your pocket and read them a few times a day. If you this, you will begin to see your charisma begin to change, and as your charisma changes, so will the people you’re dealing with. It’s an amazing process.
John A. Palumbo is an expert in the psychology of influence and persuasion and a highly sought-after performance consultant, international speaker, and sales trainer. He is an acclaimed member of the National Speaker’s Association and the author of more than ten books, including his bestseller 37 Closing Rules to Live (or Die) By. Mr. Palumbo is the recipient of NAHB’s Million Dollar Circle Lifetime Award as well as the Sales Manager of the Year Award. In 2018 he was honored with the William “Bill” Molster Lifetime Achievement Award by NAHB for his years of service to the industry.
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